A vessel of prayer

We had our first day of Ulpan today. It was challenging, no doubt about it. However, I am eager to learn and see where this path will lead me. Hebrew is a wonderful language to explore and each day provides me with new opportunities to not only use my skills but interact with incredible people!

Before Ulpan, we had Shachrit. Here is my reflection on that experience:

Breathe. Choose a partner. Just one person and turn towards them. Look into their eyes. Watch their face. Wait. Sit with the discomfort. See who they really are.

            Spirituality is filled with so many crevices and alternative ways of connecting that we often miss what is right in front of us. Instead of seeing the beauty of a prayer, we get caught up in the meaning of the words or the distraction of the person beside us. Instead of feeling connected to God, we feel distant, unworthy of connecting or completely closed off from the world of prayer. Experience in spirituality works to fight those more negative aspects.

            There are two words in Hebrew that go hand in hand, Kevah and Kavanah. Kevah has to do with routine. What we do each day, regardless of how we feel or what a prayer means to us (either that day or always). Prayer is a continual experience, not to be halted just because one day we “don’t feel like it”. Kavanah on the other hand is about intention, the why behind the prayer. This is where we take the time to really figure out how each prayer is meaningful to us as individuals. Spending time wrestling with the language and the meaning is imperative, as only then is one truly able to lead others and stay spiritually whole as an individual.

            Exceptions always exist. There may be that one person who connects to Judaism so strongly and has been praying with a certain Kevah for his or her whole life. That person may be an incredible service leader. No system or ideological framework works for one person all of the time. It should be kept in mind that the congregation can often tell if their service leader is not being honest throughout the worship experience. However, for the most part, finding those connections and maintaining a constant relationship of learning, struggling and growing will further the power of prayer and service leadership. And nerves will make it blossom and explode! Take hold of a siddur and see where it can take you!