This past week's parsha has the uplifting name of
chayei Sarah, the life of Sarah. Yet Sarah has already died in the first verse, which reads "and the life of Sarah was one hundred and seven and twenty years; that was the life of Sarah." The rest of that chapter focuses on Abraham purchasing a burial site for his wife (he is adamant that purchasing the site, rather than being gifted it, is of extreme importance), which is what we now know of as the cave of machpella located in modern day Hebron.
The next chapter is our introduction to Isaac as a grown man, but oddly enough, we really see the process of Abraham's servant acquiring for him a wife, rather than him living his life (interesting that many of the men we meet in the bible we see as children and then again as grown men. We don't often witness the more boisterous years of life)(Another thought to consider is that in 24:15, we know that the girl drawing water at the well is Rebecca, but when she introduces herself, she only says who her father is. In fact, she never says her name at all, it is simply known!). And the last chapter is of Isaac and Ishmael burying their father after some 300 years alive, also at the cave of Machpella (interesting that Ishmael is included in this very personal experience, but rarely mentioned after this. Also, we get a lineage of Ishmael's following the account of the burial, but nothing of Isaac-perhaps because we are shown this life in the coming parshiot.).
One striking aspect of this parsha is Sarah's constant presence. Abraham needs to find the right place to bury his wife. He must find a wife for his son, per Sarah's request. Isaac is out in the field meditating, as we read in Gen 24:63 ויצא יצחק לשוח בשדה, and Isaac went out to commune or muse pensively, in the field. One interpretation is that Isaac is so grieved by his mother's death that he cannot be calmed. Rather, he is at his wits end. Therefore, it makes sense when Rebecca, or רבקה (Rivka) as she's known in Hebrew, is taken by Isaac, he is consoled.
However, as translations from Hebrew chose words without necessarily demonstrating the prescribed meaning, we must look to the Hebrew for certain understanding. In Genesis 24:67, וינחם יצחק אחרי אמו. This phrase can have a few interpretations. One is that Isaac was consoled after his mother (I.e. this is the first time he is finding peace of mind after his mother's passing). Another meaning of the word ינחם is to be sorry or to repent. What Isaac has to repent for, I am not sure. However, this brings an interesting meaning to the verse.
When we understand that the words for comfort and compassion, as well as repentance come from the same place, a new meaning is given to the verse, and to the way I look at both passion and love. Sometimes, we go into relationships heart first, looking for healing from deep pain, looking for the comfort a significant other can offer. Sometimes, we are seeking repentance from a past wrong. Either way, the root נ.ח.ם fits the meaning of our actions. Although unsure whether Isaac needed to seek repentance, the reader can be certain that he needed consolation, comfort and compassion. All of which he seems to find in Rebecca's arms. But, maybe he also needed to repent for something not so easily seen in our biblical narrative. Often times, the same arms that offer consolation chide in reprimand. There is a possibility that Isaac did wrong his mother Sarah and must repent before he can move forward with his new wife.
Our lives, quite simply, may follow the trajectory of Isaac. We may very well find solace in our loved ones after grief strikes the heart. We may find that we must repent our poor choices, without ever having demonstrated them to our lover. Rather, our past baggage is still with us, and we must slowly drop it on the side of the road of life as we move forward. Which ever direction our love takes us, whether, towards repentance, comfort, or a combination of the two, may we all find נחום, nachum in our lives.
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