The love of my life!

I spend my days with kids who have accidents although they are potty trained, who lash out in frustration because they can't express themselves and don't know how to demonstrate what is happening, who simply can't respond and sit there rocking back and forth. If I think about the daily struggle of my job, I would be constantly depressed and upset. I would wonder at the unfairness of this world and question the very existence of God: how could God do this to a parents, to a child? Yet, I look into the eyes of the kid who accidentally wet himself and see a spark so deep it lifts me from my very soul. He spits out laughter and words along with drool, excited to spend a few minutes alone with me. Yet a hearty laugh and a deep squeeze of my middle, accompanied by a wet kiss remind me that this kid does know how to express himself and that his love is so deep. Yet when I appear in her line of site, this seemingly blank girl turns on her smile and we share a private laugh.

The daily grind is replaced by love and caring, but intimacy and understanding. Everyday is a challenge and forces me to reconsider how exactly I look at the world. I constantly revisit my expectations for the students always exceed them. They don't want to let me down and I can't stand the thought of disappointing them. They are way too important. So I walk slowly beside the excruciatingly slow steps of a kid walking with assistance, but walking nonetheless. So I allow myself to be bruised and pinched because it does no good to be afraid. So I hold my head high and try to understand the convoluted babble emitting from their mouths.

I love. Plain and simple, I get more than I give at this wonderful job. I am overjoyed that I found Beit Issie Shapira and that I get to watch the growth that comes each day. My frustration is replaced by smiles and laughter as a simple request for a hug or high five or a jump, phone, or iPad emit from a child. No exaggeration, I love my job and everything it entails, even with the exhaustion and pain and frustration and loneliness. Because no matter what, I have one of the best jobs in the world: I get to watch a smile form from the inside out and sometimes even be the source of it. I get to witness love expressed and pain consoled. I get to learn and teach and grow on a daily basis. I am me, everyday!