This week marked the first official week of classes. It entailed increased stress levels, meeting many new faces and personalities, and exploring neuronal connections that haven’t been active in a while. Also intrinsic to the first week of school is learning again how to sit in a class and actively listen and participate. Many of the people with which I interacted were fleeting; we met and then both moved on to wherever we were heading. However, some of them made an impact, and their spark has stayed with me as I continued through the week.
Two such people stand out. One approached me as I was working after class one afternoon, asking what I was doing. I shared and she immediately offered to serve as a sounding board, listening and offering advice to my swirling ideas which I couldn’t concretize. By the end of our 10 minute conversation, she had given me useful insight and I, hopefully, had in turn offered a respite from the intensity of her day.
The second interaction was out of necessity. While leaving HUC to go home, a friend and I found that his car had a flat tire. Knowing that the wait time would be longer than a few minutes, we decided to plant ourselves in the sun and wait. However, knowing I had a call in the not-so-distant future, he went inside to see what he could do. A few minutes later, one of his friends came out and offered me a ride home. I accepted, and we spent the next 25 minutes discussing life, HUC and ourselves, on the way to her house. Once my call finished, we continued to talk and discovered that we both enjoyed text, and were excited to learn in a different way.
Both interactions left me buoyed with the knowledge that not only do people take time to warm up, but that these people will be both classmates/colleagues, and friends. They will be my confidants, my sounding boards, and my sparing partners. This week’s parsha is again talking about the legal codes and how we must live as we go into the land and work to establish ourselves. Deuteronomy 17:8-13 reminds us that we have judges/legal guidance already set up for us, that we must simply utilize it. If something is too difficult for us to judge, we must take it before the Levites/Priests and let them judge, according to God’s will/passed on decree.
Although I am not comparing these new classmates to Levites/Priests, there is something about their greater levels of knowledge and simple experience that compels me to turn to them on questions of text, halacha (Jewish law), Jewish practice, or living. They have already lived through this year, with the wisdom to accompany it, so it seems logical to use their insight. Not necessarily judging legal doctrine, they are judging life doctrine instead. As the high holiday's approach, I am reminded of the importance of judgement, and recognize that these people will serve as one way I can look inward to myself.
The parsha also allows us to establish a king over ourselves, should we desire one, but to make sure that king is also desirable in God’s eyes. He should rule with a law book, but he should not become haughty and think of himself as any better than anyone else. People in power tend to develop a complex, in that they are better and more learned or simply greater than others. One thing that these new acquaintances reminded me, along with a few rabbis, was that I must remember that I am just like any other person. The title rabbi may one day be attached to my name, but I am still just Elana Nemitoff. I must not take the title, the mantle of the rabbinate, and allow it to change me so profoundly that I develop a sense of self-righteousness. Rather, I must use the mantle to help others, while simultaneously remembering who I am and how I want to be in this world.
May this Shabbat bring learning and understanding, of yourself and your position. May you find people who can serve as your judge and confidant, who make your life more complete and whole.
Shabbat shalom!
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